Can We Change Habits, Orientations, & Addictions?
Introduction: Last year, my wife and I took our three young grandchildren to the local library in Glendale, AZ. While my wife was playing some games with the kids and choosing books, I was looking at the children’s books prominently displayed on the top of book shelves for 5-8 year olds (the age of our grandchildren). The books were promoting the LGBTQ community. I scanned each of the books, but read one book completely. In the book, two adults were trying to get a 6-year old to join a Pride parade. The girl was quite hesitant, but her adult companions kept urging until she joined in. The book ends with her being happy about her decision and enjoying all the dancing and frolicking in the parade. Obviously, there were numerous drawings throughout the book, including “trans,” drag queens, and even nudity. The adults even told the child that the wonder of the parade was that everyone be whatever they want to be.
This is only one of many events in which the LGBTQ community pushes corporations to advertise and demand that people accept them and cheer for them. Of course, they refuse to accept anyone who disagrees with their beliefs, but instead calls them haters and racist.
The foundation of their beliefs and activities resides in the belief that they were born with whatever desire or orientation that they have and that it is unfair and unloving to expect them to change.
Therefore, the question: How can God expect us to change habits, orientations, and addictions that in many cases seem to be things we were born with and identify us.
- The Nature of Sin
- 1 Corinthians 10:13-14 “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry.”
- No one has a unique temptation. While each individual may not have the exact same temptations, your temptations and my temptations are also common throughout all people in the world. Therefore, no one can say, “You just can’t understand how difficult my temptation is.” No, there is nothing “special” about the sins that you struggle with.
- God has restraints on Satan (just like in the book of Job) that keep him from giving you temptations that would overwhelm you or make it impossible for you to overcome. God takes into account your ability, which would include where you are in your spiritual growth.
- God will be faithful to you by providing you a way of escape so that you can endure the trial. Therefore, with every temptation there is an “out,” a means by which you can defeat Satan’s trial. Satan is strong, but he is not so strong that you cannot defeat him. If you rationalize your sin and say that it is impossible for you to overcome it, you are accusing God of being unfaithful.
- Verse 14 offers one of the ways to escape: flee! The desires for sin will be greatly weakened if we will limit our exposure to it. Idolatry is the root of every sin. Temptations always urge us to bow down to them, give them priority, and understand that without the sin we cannot be “whole.” In fact, without the sin we will be miserable the rest of our lives!
- Proverbs 6:27 “Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned?”
- Can You Become What God Intended You to Be?
- 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you.”
- There is no question from this text that no one who practices these sins will inherit the kingdom of heaven. To think otherwise or to rationalize that you were born with some unique desire that means God will give you a pass, is to be deceived.
- It is also clear from this text that there were Christians who in their former life practiced a wide range of sins.
- For some, sexual immorality and adultery were part of their lifestyle. These sins are what defined them; it is who they were and how how they desired to live. And we know that these sexual sins are strongly addictive.
- Others, were alcoholics. Scripture never says that alcoholism is a disease or illness. It is a sin; a strongly addictive sin. It is the primary reason that we should stay away from it.
- Some were thieves and swindlers. We know about people like that. They are always looking for a way to get something for nothing. They are always trying to find a way to cheat someone. It isn’t an easy lifestyle to change.
- Some in the church at Corinth practiced homosexuality. Just like heterosexual adulterers, that was their orientation. But no matter, all of these sins listed were part of the mental desires and addictions that a wide variety of people had, even in the NT churches.
- Now notice the concluding sentence: “and such were some of you.” The past tense is notable. These are the sins some of you “practiced,” not just committed, but practiced as a lifestyle.
- Does this mean that once they came out of the waters of baptism the desires they had suddenly vanished? Of course not! But what did happen was that a stronger desire replaced their old desires. And as long as they pursued and built on those positive desires, the old desires would fade into the background. While it is true that none of us can forget our sins, as we grow in Christ the former addictive sins become more and more despicable to us.
- It is a major error for any of us to reason that just because I still struggle with certain desires (as all do), it doesn’t mean it is too difficult to overcome those sins or that God should just understand and accept me the way I am.
- God’s Key to Change Is the Mind (Colossians 2:21–3:10)
- One of the primary keys to this text is the contrast between 2:21-23 and 3:1-4. Submitting to outward rules that seems to give a message of holiness (like simply praying and attending a church) without truly pursuing God, will not solve that desires of the flesh. The Catholic example of Lent would be an example of this today. But we can make the same mistake when we think being “faithful” to attend church and pray to God regularly will solve our “desires of the flesh” problem.
- Thus, Paul’s first answer to the indulgences of the flesh is to “seek the things that are above.” This is absolutely the first and primary failure of those who finally cave into their struggle with sin, and then excuse themselves and say, “I was just born this way.” Seeking what is “above” is a rejection of seeking what is below! It is impossible to seek what is above while seeking that which is earthly. That is what James called “double-minded.” Therefore, what do we expect when at the same time we are going to church and praying, we are still telling ourselves, “this is just how I was born?” When I decided to pursue God, rejecting earthly passions and pursuits, even those that weren’t inherently sinful, was absolutely necessary.
- Second, Paul added, “Set your minds on things above…” First seek, then get your mind set on the things above. That means our minds are permanently immovable from what is above. It is the highest pursuit and primarily what we think about, desire, and love. That naturally happens because, God and all that he offers is far more satisfying than anything on earth. As God said in Isaiah 55, “My ways are higher than your ways.”
- But there is something else that must happen when we seek and set our minds on things above. We need to reboot and reconfigure our minds. Paul uses the words “be renewed in the spirit of your minds” Ephesians 4:23). Therefore, the key to the reboot is seen in Hebrews 4:12-13,
“For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.” - Paul gives one other key to getting our minds on things above: “For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.” In other words, quit thinking that you are living your life. It isn’t your life. Your life is gone. That “you” is dead. These words identify the problem when a person goes out to find themselves or discover their identity based on their personal feelings and desires. This isn’t your life! You are owned by the one who created you and gave his life for you as a ransom for your sins. Quit thinking about the dead “you” and put your mind on the “you” in glory. Note the words in verse 4, “When Christ who is your life appears…” That’s the key. Christ is your life.
- Verses 5-10 give us the crowning point. “Put to death therefore what is earthly…” Now when you read that and then read the sins we are to put to death, do you feel like giving those sins up and relegating them to the grave forever? Of course not! But if you do put those things to death, your feelings will follow. You cannot wait for your feelings to get into gear before you start obedience! If you hope for that, you will wait forever!
- God Causes Transformation—Practical Applications
- 1 John 5:2-3, “His commandments are not grievous/burdensome.”
- Matthew 11:25-30
- Vs. 25 “…you have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children; yes Father, for such was your gracious will.” The key to change is humbling ourselves as little children. We need complete trust, ridding ourselves of pursuing our own wisdom and understanding.
- Vs. 28 “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden…” Is that not our condition when we are in the midst of being overwhelmed with our own desires and addictions? Jesus will give us rest!
- Vs. 29 “Learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Jesus has compassion for us in our struggles against sin.
- Vs. 30 “…my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” What Jesus is asking of us is not too hard. What he is asking is “light” in comparison with living our way and following Satan.
- Clarification: Does this mean that I can rid myself of all evil desires so that I never have to struggle with them again?
- Not only is that not going to happen, it is not the goal. None of us forget the sins of our past.
- We all suffer the consequences of our past sins in that once we ate the forbidden fruit, we developed a memory and taste for it. In other words, sin inflames our desires, and the more those desires are fulfilled, the more difficult they are to overcomes. Addictions are real no matter the sin!
- When God is pursued and becomes our number one passion, sinful desires weaken over time, but not immediately! It takes time for the mind to be “renewed” just as it took time to create the strong desires.
Berry Kercheville
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