Learning to Love One Another

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Learning to Love One Another

Introduction: “If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ and yet hates his brother or sister, he is a liar. For the person who does not love his brother or sister whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And we have this command from him: The one who loves God must also love his brother and sister.” (1 John 4:20-21, CSB)

How easily we read these words and then simply preach the words to others: Yep, you can’t say you love God and not love your brother! You would be a liar! Does this verse not indict us? I feel passionate about God. The more I learn about him, the more amazing I think he is. But I admit, I cannot say the same about every Christian I have known. Certainly most, but there are some Christians I struggle to love as I should. How about you? Therefore, how can we learn to love one another so we can justifiably say, “I love God”? 

I want something in this church that I know you want – all of us truly loving one another as God loves.

1. Understanding the Point of the Text
   1. First, from a human point of view, I have a problem loving my brother in the same way I love God. God doesn’t have the flaws that my brothers and sisters do. God is not irritating. God is consistent, compassionate, and trustworthy. We all fail in these and many other areas. Therefore, how can we reconcile this with John’s statement? God is just more lovable than any of us are!
   2. The reason this should make sense is because we all have been made in the image of God – not just as a spirit – we are made to look like God in our character. God’s character is embedded in us. Yes, we sinned and fractured the image, but God is still pushing us to be renewed in his image through the knowledge of him (Ephesians 4:24). Therefore, as we look at our varying personalities and gifts, we should see how God put a part of himself within us since we are his children. He is the “Father of our spirits” (Hebrews 12:9).
   3. To further understand this point, consider 2 Peter 1:3-5. God has granted us to become partakers of the divine nature. Then Peter says, “For this very reason, make every effort to supplement [add to] your faith with…” (1:5). Peter follows with seven character traits of God which bring us into his image.
      1. But where are you in your growth on this scale? If we all had an open discussion about our growth level, what would we find? Each of us could speak of a few strengths, but there would also be weakness. For example, some of us might say, “I get so frustrated with my lack of self-control.” Or, “I am fairly pleased with my growth in perseverance, but I truly struggle with loving all people regardless.
      2. Therefore, when we make comparisons, my strong traits might be your weak traits and visa versa. In some cases we might envy (in a good way) a brother or sister who was strong in areas we are weak. But we might also tend to look down on or judge a brother or sister for being weak in areas we are strong. And that becomes a problem. In fact, it is this judging of one another that is the root cause of not loving one another as we should and that ruins unity between us. 
      3. Do you see that in your marriage or your close friendships? That’s when we get frustrated with each other, isn’t it? We say to ourselves, “Why can’t so-and-so just stop doing that! Why do they have to be that way? Why don’t they just ‘do it right’? etc. 
      4. Hopefully, we can see how silly that is because your brother or sister could easily be thinking the same thing about you concerning a weakness you have that is their strength.
2. What Keeps Us from Loving One Another?
   1. Now consider another text: Ephesians 4:1-16. This is a text on unity. Notice that Paul begins with strong words for us in our “one another” relationships: humility, gentleness, patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Whew! That in itself exposes our hearts and actions. But look further:
      1. Verse 7: God gave different gifts. Your gift is not necessarily my gift, and in fact, all of us vary in gifts.
      2. Our job is to become equipped to use our gift for the growth of the body (vs. 16).
      3. The challenge is to appreciate each other’s gift, remembering that each gift reflects God’s personality. To not appreciate the gift, is to not appreciate God.
   2. In 1 Corinthians 12, Paul warns of sinful responses to our varying gifts:
      1. We evaluate our gift as less than others and therefore think our role in the body is unimportant and that we are not needed.
      2. Or, we value our gift so highly that we think the gifts that others have are insignificant and therefore we try to do it all. We can think we are so good at what we do, its better that we do everything. Parents will make the mistake of doing everything for their children since it is faster than training them to take on responsibilities they should be able to handle. Churches can do the same.
      3. In 12:25, Paul warns about this by saying, “…that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another.” Division is solved and unity promoted we when value what each of us brings to the table. As Paul said in Philippians 2:3, “we count others more significant than ourselves.” 
3. Sinful Use of Our Gifts and Exaggeration of Our Gifts Can Create Division, but Still Demands Love
   1. Luke 7:36-51 Obviously, as we read this story we are quite put off by Simon. We think he is terrible. What kind of person is disgusted by and rejects a woman who is weeping at Jesus’ feet? Well, that’s a good question. What kind of man is Simon?
   2. If you asked Simon if he loved God, what would he say? Of course!
      1. Does Simon go to the temple? Does Simon pray? Does Simon attend the synagogue and study his Bible? Does Simon live a moral life? Does Simon care that people who serve God live holy lives and do not pollute God’s kingdom with sin? Does Simon care deeply about following the details of the Law? Has Simon even prepared a meal for Jesus and invited him to dinner? Of course. Of course!
      2. Now consider, are parts of Simon’s personality good, God-given gifts? In other words, are these things God also cares about? Indeed! We wish everyone had that kind of respect for God and his word. But Simon also has an unhealthy side to his gift. Simon has sinfully misused his gift turning it into an idol and making it more important than any other part of God’s character –– Matthew 23:23, love, compassion, and mercy; “I desire steadfast love…the knowledge of God, not just sacrifice” (Hosea 6:6). And because he misused his gift, he could not love the woman. 
   3. We look down on Simon, but I hope you see how much we are like him. Do you know what it was like for Simon to watch this woman over the years live as she lived, an affront to God, ruining the lives of so many around her whom she brought into her sinfulness? Are you and I disgusted by the lives of such people? Do we want to hang out with them or get close enough to them to share the gospel. Do we get our concern for careful obedience so out of balance that we neglect compassion and mercy? Yes, sorry to say.
   4. What about the woman? What would you say is her gift? You might say, “What gift?” Oh, she has been gifted liberally by God. She’s a passionate person. She wants the fullness of life and she pursues it with all the energy she can muster. She is not easily satisfied with just living as everyone else lives. She wants more; she wants it all! Is that a gift? Oh it is a beautiful gift. God has gifted many in this world in just the same way. But that gift is also easily misused and turned into an idol. This woman needed to see that her gift of passion could only be fulfilled in pursuing God and his cause. She wanted fullness, and now she had found it! 
      1. There was something else about her gift of passion that was better than most. Her repentance was not mediocre or casual, “I have sinned, please forgive me.” Her repentance was exhibited with all she could give. When her sin was exposed in the presence of Jesus, “she loved much because she was forgiven much.” She repented with every fiber of her being.
      2. And by the way, all of Simon’s carefulness in service to God does not hold a candle to this woman’s passionate pursuit of Jesus. Simon needed to understand that his sinful use of God’s gift of careful obedience was just as ungodly as the woman’s sin. He would only learn to love much (both God and her) once he learned that his spiritual needs were as great as hers (thus the parable).
4. Unity and Love Thrive When We Stop Judging: 1 Corinthians 4:1-6
   1. First, what is “judging?” The easiest way to understand is to start with what Paul is not saying. Obviously, the Corinthian false preachers weren’t taking the scriptures and evaluating Paul’s life as a Christian, evangelist, and apostle and concluding that he was coming up short. No, instead they were evaluating Paul on their terms. He was not an entertaining speaker. He was too bold, too blunt. His appearance was lacking. And most importantly, what kind of preacher must he be if he suffered everywhere he went. Regardless their specific accusations, their judgments were “political,” based on human standards, on implications they made without really knowing the whole truth (“the things now hidden in darkness and purposes of the heart”).
   2. Paul’s statement in verse 3 is critical. Paul does not even judge himself, but only the Lord judges him. That is, Paul avoids any standards of his own. Only God through his word passes judgment on him.
   3. Verse 6 shows that using personal standards causes us to be “puffed up in favor of one against another.” That’s lack of love; lack of unity.
   4. Now read with me James 4:11-12: “Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge.There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?”
   5. Therefore, to learn to love and not speak against a brother…
      1. We cannot ignore the fact that God forgives and we live by faith and grace. We do, and our brother does.
      2. To speak evil suggests that I am somehow better than my brother even though I have sin and in the exact same condition as he is.
      3. To love, I must remember that the character traits I may not like in another is important in God’s design of giving differing gifts to accomplish his will. The fact that my brother may not have grown to the point of using his gift in a positive way, is not the point. God is still growing him and I do not have the right to pass judgment, speak evil, or utter condemnation. I have plenty of “logs” in my own eye to work on and showing love for my brother is the only way I can ever expect for us both to help each other in our quest for growing into the image of the Father. 
      4. Therefore since the primary command of the Law is to love your neighbor as yourself, to speak evil of your neighbor is the speak evil of the Law.
      5. Bottom line, we are not the Lawgiver or the Judge. To speak evil is to presume on God’s position and thus leave ourselves under condemnation. In other words, we are unhealthy and sinful when we use our own life, our own personal standards, and our own unique gift from God as a means of evaluating others. The result is either thinking we are worthless in comparison or exalting ourselves above our brother. Either way, we have made ourselves the judge.

Conclusion: Amos and Hosea were contemporaries who preached repentance to the same wicked nation of Israel, but their life experiences, personalities, and preaching styles were quite different. Can you imagine Amos criticizing Hosea for his broken-hearted approach to preaching? Or, Hosea criticizing Amos for his direct, stern message that gave only six verses of hope? Foolishness! 

Paul summarizes the key to loving one another in 2 Corinthians 10:17-18, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord. For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends.”

Berry Kercheville